The $300,000 Wedding

I had an amazing experience playing for the most expensive wedding I have ever seen, and may ever see. The truly ridiculous part about it was that the event was rumored to cost over $300,000 and I was forced to accept a pay cut, and the bride and groom were too cheap to cover the parking of the musicians, and probably all of the other vendors. But, they will spend over $25,000 for a ballroom with silk draperies, chair covers, flowers, and specialty lighting??? I ended up accepting the job because it was on a evening where I wouldn't otherwise be working, and I decided that some money was better than no money. They had a huge feast before the wedding, with live music and an open bar, as the catering crew set up the reception with no expense spared. This had to be seen to be believed! Here are the pictures to prove it.


..and a view of one of the reception hall, blinded by the bling bling


Here is a close-up of one of the tables, glimmering like diamonds!


Here is an unbelievable image as I walked in to the ballroom for the ceremony


...and this was the view I had from my harp


Then the paparazzi came to take pictures, complete with their own photo director.


...and finally more than 1000 lucky guests came in their finest to witness a grand affair. They cheered, screamed, hooted, and hollared like it was the Stupid Bowl as each person came down the aisle and probably nobody heard anything I played. I could barely hear myself.

It couldn't have been more unusual!

Harp ER

I hate playing my harp by the ocean. Last September I had a really awful experience. I was asked to play for a wedding right at the end of the water as it splashed up onto the beach. After I got home I noticed my harp smelled like dead fish and the strings sounded dull. Then I noticed my bass wires were not resonating at all and made a thud sound when pulled. I had to replace every single bass wire at a cost of $125 and it took about three months before my harp aired out and didn't stink. I think there was some kind of chemical reaction with the steel wires to the salt air. Well, I agreed to play harp for another wedding outside near the ocean but this time I made it clear I could not play on the beach. She said it was up on a cliff overlooking the ocean. So I decided to give it another try. Friday afternoon was the big day. I had to leave 4 hours early to Laguna Beach because of Friday rush hour traffic and ended up arriving 2 hours early, but it wasn't so bad hanging out at the beach. The wedding went ok, there was some confusion about when the special music was supposed to start. The limo pulled up to the curb and just stayed there for 10 minutes. Then some of the family got out and just stood there for a long time. One of the mothers was escorted in and I began to play Over the Rainbow and then nothing for another 10 minutes (it was supposed to be one family member after another in succession). Then the bridesmaid started to walk towards the wedding so I began to play Canon in D, then she started talking to some people, turned around and walked back. I guess she wasn't ready yet. Then the other mother was escorted in so I just continued with Canon in D instead of going back to Over the Rainbow. Finally the bridesmaid did process in, followed by the bride. I could already tell the ocean air was screwing with my harp because Here Comes the Bride was a little sour sounding. I quietly checked my harp during the ceremony and noticed some of the strings were going bonkers and the wood on my soundbaord was starting to feel sticky, like the salt was depositing itself. This wasn't going over very well with me. The recessional music sounded out of tune, there was nothing I could do about it. My harp strings were choking on salt air. I continued to play for another 10 minutes and then I packed up as quickly as I could. I debated the whole way home as to what to do, and how I could possibly prevent damage to my harp strings. I was very lucky and there was no traffic the whole way back to Hollywood. I decided I should rush the harp up to my apartment, clean it, and let it air out overnight. I knew I was maybe running out of time before the damage would be done. When I arrived I jumped out of the car and unloaded as fast as possible. It was almost divine the way I was able to rush back with no traffic and now the harp seemed to glide out of the car and was crying to get upstairs to be cleaned. I felt like it was going to the ER and I was the EMT. I pushed the harp quickly to the elevator and hurried to my apartment. I threw down my jacket, unpacked the harp and immediately wiped down the strings with a cotton t-shirt. Then I got out my wood polish and thoroughly wiped down all the other parts of the harp. I also turned my cover inside out so it could dry overnight. This morning the harp sounds fine, and doesn't smell. So, I think I dodged the bullet this time. I don't have any more oceanside harp jobs coming up. I will really have to screen locations in the future, or maybe charge an oceanside fee. It's not really worth the hassle.

Another day, another wedding

The wedding I played for today was really stressful. It was super hot and the sun was blaring down on me. I wear a black tuxedo, have a black music stand, a black stool, and a black amplifier, so that all attracts the heat. I thought I was dealing with it ok, and then at the very second the wedding processional begins the wind starts to blow my music. I already had my hands on the strings so there was no way to just stop and clip the page down. Then my hair blew down over my eyes. This repeated itself at least 20 times during the processional music, most of which I played only with the right hand. I couldn't believe the situation I was stuck in. I was constantly batting the page back and then it would blow over, then my hair again, repeat, repeat, repeat. When the bride came I was so pissed I took a clip and clamped down the music on all four corners and smashed my hair back behind my ears. The was zero wind for over an hour, the whole thing took me by surprise. No more assumptions about the wind not coming. After I got inside the hotel for the cocktail hour, I think I had suffered from some kind of sun poisoning because my brain wasn't functioning correctly at all. I was all sweaty and just wanted to go home by that time but had to play another hour. Somehow I do believe I left a decent impression. Crazy. Then at the end two conservative Christian ladies came up and starting telling me how my talent was a gift from Jesus, that Jesus loves me, etc. They were both very nice, I just didn't quite know where it was going. When I finally got packed up and in my car, which incidentally has the check engine light on, I had to go to McDonalds and eat nasty, awful greasy food so I could feel better. Tonight I am doing laundry, Yay.